Hermit in the Making

    It doesn’t particularly matter what happens in the course of a day. If I interacted with anyone, I probably had a bad day. By which I mean, at some point — when I’m driving home, while I’m making dinner, or when I’m lying in bed at night — I’m going to start picking apart some conversation I had, and torturing myself about whatever I said. Or didn’t say. Or should have said differently. Pick, pick, pick. Fail, fail, fail.

    Yes, this is me. Totally self-centered.

    Of course, I know. I know it’s not all about me. I know that I’m not the center of the world – that I’m not supposed to be and don’t particularly want to be the center of even my own little world – and that it’s more than likely whatever I’m torturing myself about didn’t even make the radar of the person I talked to. That if anything, they are lying awake torturing themselves about whatever they wish THEY didn’t say during the course of the day.

    Which is a lot less comforting than you might think.

    Not much help for it. Tomorrow I’m going to interact with people — I’ll enjoy interacting with them — and then later I’m going to stress myself about it. Only way to solve that is to become a hermit.

    And that’s probably not going to happen.



About aka gringita
Flotsam generator. Amateur photographer. Avid traveler. Christ follower.

One Response to Hermit in the Making

  1. Pingback: I had a day | aka Gringita

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