Off track

Weight-walking

Not me: Image via Wikipedia

Physically.

I have lost enough weight that I need to store away or give away my “big” clothes, and my “regular” clothes are loose enough that I could make a case for buying new things in a smaller size. But that’s not quite necessary yet, so I hold off. They still fit me, and I don’t know quite where I’m stopping yet, having gotten within 10 pounds of the somewhat arbitrary goal weight I set for myself.
I mean, OK, it’s not TOTALLY arbitrary, in that I picked something in the middle of the “healthy” range for my height… but why is it we decide the “right weight” ends with a 0 or a 5? What’s so magical about these numbers, really? Why doesn’t my magical desired weight ever end with a 3 or a 7?

It started well but my weight loss has slowed to a crawl, but I know that’s as much because I’ve stopped exercising as anything else. Dumb, dumb, dumb. The exercise was good for me, and not just for the slimming effect. I felt good. I had energy. My mind was sharper.

And I know me… “not exercising” is just the first step down a slippery slope to “not eating right” … and from there it’s just a hop, skip and jump back to pulling those “big” clothes back out of storage and wondering why I have no energy.

 

Perhaps I should just-as-arbitrarily set a new goal weight to be 10 pounds lower than I originally said… it’s always those “last 10 pounds” that are the hardest (so they say).  Who knows, maybe it would light a fire under me to get back on track, if the “weight to lose” number got bigger. In much the same way that having my clocks all set to be 10 minutes fast is supposed to trick me into leaving on time for things. (I still end up late sometimes — for some things consciously, because I don’t want to be there on time; for others because I know that the clocks are wrong and I compensate — but maybe doing extra math throughout the day is good for the brain cells?)

But I don’t really want to lose 20 more pounds, and I think knowing that makes it impossible to play the mental trick on myself. To lose 20 more pounds would not be healthy for me, and I doubt it would even be possible short of getting very, very sick. Also not a goal.

Losing the weight is not really the most important thing. I am at a healthy weight and beyond that the numbers are, indeed, arbitrary. We are all more than just numbers.

Being strong, feeling good, having the energy to do things I want to do… those have got to become the goals.

OK. So. Here we go. Peptalk for myself: Every day is a new chance to do the right things.  Energy begets energy. You felt better when you moved around. It only takes 30 minutes a day to feel worlds better and you can take back 30 minutes from the absolute nonsense that otherwise fills your day in a heartbeat, if you just decide to do it. Give it a shot. Even if you don’t give it the whole 30 minutes, do a little, because a little is better than none. But you know you can do the 30 minutes.

Check in with me as I try to get myself back on track.

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About aka gringita
Flotsam generator. Amateur photographer. Avid traveler. Christ follower.

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