Seeing CC (reunions and worry)

Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...

Jesus Teaching the Sermon on the Mount -- Image via Wikipedia

In my dream, I visited my friend at his office. I rarely dream him, and when I do it’s always for an office visit. His office always looks the same in my dreams. It’s funny how consistent it is, when it’s so vastly different from the reality (I have, in fact, been to his real-life office, albeit some years ago).  There’s always some mild sense of the disconnect between us; even in my dreams we’ve lost touch a bit. But even so, I always wake up feeling like it was nice to see him again.

That dreamvisit to that friend was probably prompted by the fact that I was going to be having lunch the next day with a mutual friend-and-colleague of ours, CC.

CC and I started working together when my other friend (the one in my dream) left the company where we all worked, and I took over the marketing for CC’s group.

CC is a great guy, and for the first year or so after we each went out on our separate adventures – particularly in the year when he was between jobs – we would go out to lunch a couple times a month. Then, in what he probably recognizes in retrospect as panicked and depression-driven flailing over his then-jobless status, he bought and ran what proved to be an ill-fated tools franchise.

And during that time, he no longer had time for lunch with me. Or lunch at all. Or time with his wife and kids. Or anything else that might even mildly resemble having a life.

He had an income, sort of. But he was miserable. Perhaps even more than when he’d been out of work. But at least it was a busy kind of misery, which might have been OK for his sanity in some ways, but wasn’t making a bit dent in his overall quality of life.

Anyway, he just got out from under the franchise last month, and is between things for another week or so before he starts training for his next gig. He’s loving having time with his family again. And we were finally able to fit in a lunch today. It was just great to see him. And sorta funny, because he’s not even starting and already second-guessing the next thing he’s planning to do.

He always thought he was a Change-Is-Good guy. But it turns out, he hates the uncertainty. He’s losing sleep.

CC is a worrier. I’ve known this for a while now, but I was surprised to first learn this about him, because the personna he wears at work is very positive and upbeat. He’s outgoing (the guy can even get me talking) and bubbly and really genuinely cares about people. In various points in his life, that care has made him a terrific salesperson, customer service rep, and team leader. Not to mention always striving to be a good dad. Basically, any time he can frame what he’s doing in terms of helping someone else, he’s a happy guy.

But again, he’s a worrier too. He worries about his health, his wife, his kids, his job, his customers… he worries. A lot. He told me he’s had about 2 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights, and it’s because he wakes up worried about the 1000 what-ifs of whatever-comes-next. Most of which will never happen, and he knows it.

It’s the uncertainty of his present situation that he’s worried about right now, but we laughed about it because even if that all works out and things are sailing smoothly, he’d invent something else to worry himself sick about. And he knows it.

We’re not supposed to worry. God keeps on telling his people not to worry and not to be afraid – apparently fear is something that can undermine all of us all too easily – and Jesus taught and commands us not to worry.

I know it, but that doesn’t mean I never wake up in a sweat in the night, myself.

So I told CC that my best fix for the mid-night worries is prayer. When it happens I spend some time talking myself in off the ledge by remembering that my life is not just choatic series of random accidents. And it is not up to me to keep my world spinning; I am in greater hands than my own. That all things are being worked out for good. And that, yes, it’s hard to feel powerless in any given situation, but it’s a lot easier when I remember that I trust the One who has all the power that ever was, is, or will be.  If God is for me, who can be against me?

I don’t have to hash it all over and over again; God knows what’s happening better than I do, and understands all my concerns. I cast my cares on Him; I can leave my worries safely in His hands. If they need worrying over, He can do it. He’s told me not to.

When I do it successfully, I really do sleep in heavenly peace. I wish the same for CC. (And for you.)

And just on the whole it was great to catch up with CC. As much as he worries, he’s in a much better mental place than he had been. It was fun to see him, and to hear how his wife and kids are doing, and what he’s hoping to accomplish next.

I just love my friend CC. I really hope it won’t take us another year to be able to get together again.


About aka gringita
Flotsam generator. Amateur photographer. Avid traveler. Christ follower.

2 Responses to Seeing CC (reunions and worry)

  1. dtrasler says:

    Hope it works out for him. The drive to work and provide is tough to fight, and learning to let go and trust (while still doing ENOUGH, not expecting it to be handed to you) is really hard. We had a scary six months when we first landed in Canada, since we’d only budgeted for three months of unemployment, and it went on….and on….But now we’re so happy, and set up in a way we hardly dared dream in those first few months.


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