Apparently I’ve died and nobody told me

I tried. I really did.

Blood drive today at work. I always try to give blood when they have a drive at the office. I mean, I’m a slow bleeder and all, so it takes me longer to donate a pint than most, but c’mon… I could save lives, just by lying still for about 1/2 hour. Surely I can do that! Plus they’re bringing everything to me and pretty much all I have to do is let them poke my arm, and lay there for a while.

Right, well, that’s not quite all I have to do. I have to pass a series of tests first.

The first one is the identification test: Are you who you say you are? Are you still you?

I’m sure we’re all relieved to learn that I am.

The second one is the written test. What have you had, what do you take, what have you done, where have you been?

For the most part, no issues. Though “where have you been” can get me into trouble. I couldn’t give blood for more than a year because I went to parts of Costa Rica that have had cases of malaria and denge fever. I didn’t get them (thank God!) but the blood center likes to be sure. And rightly so.

Even when I haven’t gone anywhere “dangerous” a “Yes” to travel outside the US/Canada means there’s always the follow-up oral test, in which I feel like I’m one part bragging-about-my-trips and one part pleading-the-case-for-using-my-blood.

And then, finally, we get into the health test. How’s your iron level? What’s your pulse? What’s your blood pressure? What’s your temperature?

My iron is often a problem, but it wasn’t today (Yay!) And my pulse was fine. So far, it’s all good. We pop a thermometer strip into my mouth and start measuring my blood pressure and…

Uh oh. Houston, we have a problem!

After 4 attempts (2 for each arm), the result is still horrifically low. You-could-faint low. About-half-what-we-expect low.

Even though I’m about to get rejected on the BP issue, she checks my temperature for good measure.

It doesn’t even register.

So, um, no blood donation from me today. Because apparently, I may have recently died. I just haven’t found out yet.  The memo might have been delayed in the interoffice mail, or something.

Like I needed THAT hanging over my head.

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About aka gringita
Flotsam generator. Amateur photographer. Avid traveler. Christ follower.

6 Responses to Apparently I’ve died and nobody told me

  1. The bad news? You might be dead. The good news? There’s plenty of blood around to try and revive you. One piece of advice: walk toward the light…

    Like

  2. Patti says:

    Perhaps you’re taking the whole “introvert” thing a bit too seriously.

    Like

  3. congluteous says:

    Meet me in Heaven! Seriously, it’s good to know that someone is benefitting from your generosity and kindness, already.

    Like

  4. carlaat says:

    Similar thing happened to me last week. Super-low blood pressure. Which improved the second time they checked. But the iron levels? Too low. Alas. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a machine malfunction. How could my blood pressure be crazy low one minute and then fine the next?

    Like

  5. Thank you for a great post.

    Like

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