Welcome to my midlife crisis
May 18, 2012 7 Comments
My mad obsession continues, the itinerary getting tweaked over and over. I’ll probably start pulling the trigger on things like flights and car rentals over the weekend. Hotels can wait a little longer, with the exception of whatever I end up doing about Albuquerque, as there’s an event there then, so finding lodging could be a bigger challenge.
[OK, I just booked the nights in ABQ, which will probably be my most expensive leg of the trip. Still, it turns out some of the options were already sold out, so it’s good to have that behind me. I can cancel up until the day-of without penalty, but at least I know I’m set as far as that goes.]
My, but I do get caught up in these details, don’t I?
As I said yesterday, I asked my girlfriends to pray for me. I got one response back so far: it was encouraging. I’ve asked my mom if she’s concerned about this, because she tends to sound a little strange about it. She assures me that it’s just that she can’t imagine doing this herself. A little awed, perhaps. And yes, as my mother, she’s concerned about so many hours on my own behind the wheel, but it’s still America after all so she’s not losing sleep about it.
Which is good. No matter where I go, the center of God’s will is my only safety. He has numbered my days. People get mugged, raped or killed in their own neighborhoods, or in their own homes just as much as anywhere else. I’m not worried… at least, not about that.
So I’m all but set to do this thing. Even though it might be crazy. Maybe because it’s a little crazy.
I’m excited, and then I’m nervous, and then I’m anxious for the trip to start, and then I start tweaking the itinerary and coming up with additional options, and then I start the cycle all over. I am already mentally telling myself the story of the trip. Bracing myself for long hard days on the road. Smiling at the joy of going “New-Where.” Experiencing every drive, every day, as if it’s a prelude.
All I know is even I am aware that I am totally fixated on this project lately. As if I have something to prove. As if this is my personal version of a midlife crisis.
Welcome to my midlife crisis. Pardon the mess.